


Letters to Mum

by Yourdearestwatson



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Feels, M/M, Mild Language, PTSD, did
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-12
Updated: 2013-06-12
Packaged: 2017-12-14 17:45:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 1,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/839628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yourdearestwatson/pseuds/Yourdearestwatson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>These letters are all from John while he was stationed out of country.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Mum,

I can’t believe it. They finally are recognizing me. I was promoted! Me! The ceremony is in a week, on your birthday. I don’t have much, but I sent a pressed flower. I hope you like it. It’s your favorite. 

In a week, mum, I will be Captain John Hamish Watson. Captain! Have you ever imagined it? When I was born did you say, “yes, quite right. This one will be a captain in the Royal Army, this one?” And the nurses all applaud? Okay, so that’s a bit melodramatic or poetic or whatever dad would claim.

Have you heard from Harry and Clara? Clara sent me a really nice letter a few weeks ago, but nothing from Harry. If you hear from her, do tell her that I have some phone time if she wants a chat or something. I never know what that girl wants. 

I miss you. 

I miss home. 

I miss your cooking. I probably lost about twenty pounds because you’re not here feeding me constantly. 

I’ll send you a picture next week, mum, alright? Of your son in full uniform. i hope to make you and my country proud. 

I love you so much. 

John.


	2. Chapter 2

Mum,

They’re drafting me. I just got the news. I’m going to the Middle East tomorrow. I’ve been to three continents now. Three! My mates call me “Three Continents Watson” now. They think they’re funny, but I put them in line if they get too rowdy. 

I think I’ll stay in Afghanistan for a while if I can help it. The war seems unending doesn’t it? I’m not exactly pleased about the Middle East, but i am glad to help as I’m supposed to. 

Did I tell you about the new recruit? Moran, his name. God, he’s something else. A downright git, and I’m more than happy to take him down a peg. I don’t think he takes a fancy to me, but I think he’ll come around after a few drinks. We do have to put up with another, and I’m not always the bad cop. 

Moran is very arrogant. Sort of like Billy when I was a kid? Remember him? The bloke that climbed the tree to show off and ended up sitting on the weakest branch and broke both his legs? Poor sod, but he wasn’t so arrogant after, was he? Moran isn’t like that. God forbid if something happens, but I think he’d only seek revenge. I do worry about him, so I’m a little more hard on him than the others. 

I’m more working on helping him turn his anger into helping him fight. You think I’m a crack shot, this bloke can almost always out-shoot me every go with the sniper. If he behaves, he’ll get promoted in no time.

I’ll write again soon, if you can get me more stamps. I’ve got no more cash until I can get back into the MASH unit again. They could use me until I leave and it won’t be so bad to commit to something for a bit. Should use my doctor degree sometime. 

Say hi to Harry for me. Tell her to lay off the bloody booze before she frightens off that lovely fiance of hers. No news from dad, then? I hope you’re doing well. Big empty house. Maybe you should get a cat. Or some plants. You shouldn’t be alone, mum. 

I’ll talk to you soon.

I love you.

John.


	3. Chapter 3

Mum,

A bomb went off near camp this evening. Don’t worry, I’m alright. It’s about 0300 and I had to write to you. Harry doesn’t answer my calls and when someone does pick up it’s a very tired Clara. I’m worried about them, please talk to her.

Sorry this letter isn’t very long, I have to check everyone for shock or minor wounds if there are any. I probably won’t sleep again for a day or two. 

I miss you. 

Love,

John


	4. Chapter 4

Mum,

Bad day. Very bad day. We were scouting a area that we thought was empty when a private—his name was Gary— spotted a grenade. I lost a boy today, mum. On my watch. 

I know I shouldn’t blame myself and that no one really could have been aware that we were going to be under attack during the day, but I was glad for my kit that you bought me. Thanks for that, really. 

It’s not my first time in all my years of travelling with the Army that I’ve seen explosions and dealt with amputees. But it was my first time losing a boy on my watch. I’ll be sending a letter with a reverend tomorrow.

It’s days like these I realize that this is a war. And that I am a part of it. and I am here to fight, to heal and to survive. 

Love,

John


	5. Chapter 5

Mum,

I have the night rounds today. My schedule is maddening and doesn’t really allow me to get a proper amount of sleep if we were under attack anyways. I’d rather just be awake all the time. At least the adrenaline keeps me awake. 

That, and Moran’s arrogant arse is always near by. Some of the fellows think that he has some odd infatuation for me. Possibly because I’m his superior or whatever gets him off. If I’m not too exhausted I might take him for a pint. God knows I need one after the bomb scare we had last week or month or year.

I really don’t know anymore.

With love,

John.


	6. Chapter 6

Mum, 

I’ve been staring at this paper for far too long deciding how to tell you something. I wish you had answered my phone, but Clara used the last of my minutes or I would have called. 

I had sex. 

With a male. 

Specifically, Sebastian Moran. 

And it wasn’t…. Bad. 

I liked it, actually. 

A lot. 

Remember when I said I might be bi? Well, I think it’s a little more than “might.” Maybe. 

We have to keep it silent, of course. i’m really not supposed to, as his superior. But it just.. Happened. 

Ever had hate sex?

No. Don’t answer that. 

Last thing I need to know is my mum’s sex life. 

Anyways. 

Cheers for the care package. I can sell the cigarettes or trade them for something. 

I love you mum. Call me. 

John


	7. Chapter 7

Mum,

You haven’t written in a few months. Please write or call. I’m worried. 

Love,

John


	8. Chapter 8

Mum,

You haven’t written in a while. I lost count of days, months (years?) that I’ve been here. Clara and Harry broke up and Clara won’t answer my calls. I refuse to call dad. I refuse to hear about how going gay in the army isn’t going to help. I will not. 

I miss you mum. Im miss your voice. i miss your silly fruitcakes. 

Please call.

John


	9. Chapter 9

Mum,

I got shot. I can’t write so i’m having someone else do it for me. We were under attack last night and I was trying to save one of our boys. dunno if he made it or not, no one has seen or heard anything. 

I haven’t heard from anyone, but I thought you should know that I’m still fucking alive. Does anyone fucking care?

never mind. Hope you’re well.

Love,

John.


	10. May 25, 2010

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something has gone wrong with John.

~~Oh, this is cute. johnny writes to his mummy. Hi mum. This is your new son. Charlie. I’m a bad boy.~~

~~I like killing people. I like seeing the blood drip and the life come out of their eyes.~~

~~I get satisfaction knowing that it was me that killed that sniper that shot your precious Johnny. and i will kill anyone else I please because I like it.~~

~~Johnny hates me. He knows i’m here. He named me. Charlie. Clever boy you have, Mrs. W.~~

~~Oh will he ever be cross when he knows that this blood-stained letter was sent to you.~~

~~Do give kisses to Harry for me and a big fuck you to Clara. quite literally. i think Johnny had a thing for her.~~

~~Not as much as he liked Moran before that man snapped.~~

~~quite tragic, a broken heart.~~

~~Too much to deal with and so much time to not deal with it.~~

~~your stubborn little boy created me, mum.~~

~~Aren’t you so fucking proud?~~

~~Charlie.~~

 

I’m sorry.

-John


	11. Chapter 11

I’m sorry mum. 

I’m so so sorry, I wish I had known. I wish I had at least called dad and listened to him just for a little while. I wish that Harry and Clara never broke up so that I could have known.

I wish I wasn’t on my seventh beer. 

I wish I told you I loved you more.

I wish I could have healed you. 

I hate cancer, mum. I loathe it with every fiber of my being and I swear to you that I will make it up to you. 

I’m so sorry. 

I love you so much that this news has sent me over the edge and I am being honorably discharged tomorrow. 

I’ll be headed back to London on disability. Disability, mum.

How dad would cringe to know his boy was so fucking weak. 

I’m sorry I couldn’t have been here to help. there was nothing I could have done to stop it and I feel awful that I couldn’t have even tried. 

I need to get packing because I leave in three hours for a six hour plane ride. This letter will get there before I do. 

I’ve requested that it sits at your grave so that one day I can return and read it to you. 

I love you with all my heart Eleanor Lynn Watson.

Your son,

Capt. John Hamish Watson.


End file.
